What is it you do again, Dad?

17 Nov 2009, 08:36 Add Comment

My two daughters don't really understand what I do, in what I loosely call my career. They're only young (21 and 24 actually, now I think about it) and the words "planning consultant" are pretty meaningless, really, unless you know something about local government, development and other bland words like that.

It's not only my family that don't know how I earn a crust. Sometimes it's necessary to provide a job title, for example when applying for a loan on the telephone....

"...and what is it you do, Mr Percy?"

"I'm a planning consultant."

"Oh, what's that?"

"Well, I help people to build houses and things."

"Oh, you work for the Council?"

"No, I'm a consultant and act for housebuilders and developers."

"So, what should I put on the form, there's not a box for planning consultant?"

"What boxes have your got?"

"Architect"

"God, no!"

"Surveyor?"

"No."

"Local government officer?"

"Yes, that will do (sigh)."

Even worse is the dinner party or pub conversation. Some people that have known me for 20 years or more (and my dad, come to think of it) still assume that I work for the Council and I don't bother to correct them any more. To those that don't know me, I just say that I'm in quantum physics because at least they will then know that it is pointless trying to explain what that entails. Luckily, I've yet to meet another quantum physician (or is that a doctor?) at a party - when I do, it will probably turn out to be another planning consultant!

So why is it that people can't understand what a planning consultant does? Could it be the jargon?

"Oh, yes, I think a sense of space is such an essential aspect of built development"

or

"Place making is what I do."

I've never actually uttered these words, even ironically, but I have seen and heard others use them without a hint of embarrassment: perhaps the fault is with me.

Or could it be that others can't believe that people would pay me (very reasonable) fees to fill out a form and post some drawings to the Civic Centre...there's nothing else involved, after all.

No, I think the truth is actually much simpler - I'm not a professional sportsman or Peter Andre and therefore my kids are a bit embarrassed that I'm not a celebrity or a millionaire. The way forward is obviously to award David Beckham and Katie Price (or is she Jordon again?) honorary planning degrees. Job done!

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